Shaggs Von Dunkleburg

This is how to tell if you are awesome.

I really enjoyed voting yesterday. It was a beautiful day (shocker!), there was tremendous community spirit, and I got to take my one-year-old son to his third election.

Here's what I really dig, though... They gave me an "I voted!" sticker, and then gave one to him. It was really sweet.

But here's the deal... he's a toddler! Clearly he isn't eighteen. You know he didn't vote.

It's like an invitation to lie! "Here kid... misrepresent your participation in the electoral process." A tiny piece of paper asserting that he completed something he wasn't actually able to participate in.

So... what the hell. In for a penny, in for a pound.

On the way out, we also got him a jury duty waiver, a pilot's license, a concealed carry permit, and a certificate to practice medicine in the state of California. He'll thank me later.

(Seriously, though. It was sweet. The poll workers were wonderful, and he really liked the sticker.)

Remember this?

I hate to belabor a point, but Vishnu with a Popsicle! Somebody envision a world for me where Sarah Palin isn't considered dumb as a post. Further, where she isn't considered dumber than the most of the dumber posts out there. Where the Creationists don't turn to the Flat Earthers and whisper, "Hey, Zebediah... This one's an idiot."

She's an absolute insult to every woman who is... you know... good at anything.

Moreso, anyone who's ever Verbed a Noun with any positive Adverb.

You liked Hillary? I got the plumbing! Vote for me!

Gah.

</rant>

Seriously?

You have to be kidding me.

http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/09/sarah_palin_on_bush_doctrine_h.php

http://view.break.com/542649 - Watch more free videos

This is exactly how the Creative/Marketing interaction works.

Rewrites are an absolute motherfucker.

What a weird day.

Starting at 5:01 last night, same sex marriages are being performed in the state of California. Hell yeah.

As you'd expect, the news media is all over it. I've heard somewhere in the neighborhood of a dozen stories about it over the past week.

Here's the deal, though... if these stories are radio or video pieces, they all segue to some fat House beat for their intros and outros.

It happened again just this morning, on the radio. It's always...

"...and I'm Jon Smith, Live at the LA County Courthouse. Back to you." 
<insert Cher's "Believe" extended club remix here>

...or Groove is in the Heart. Or Kylie Minogue. Or The Prodigy, or Ray of Light, or a bad Weathergirls ripoff, or the latest "You Can Do It" One People One World Chaps McAssless club anthem. Oy.

If I were a gay cat, I don't think I'd be offended per se, but I might be a little annoyed by it. There seems to be an assumption that all gay folk like house music, and further, like shitty house music.

As a straight cat, if they ran some story about straight folks getting married in record numbers and they segued into some awful country music track, I'd get a pretty egregious case of the Aw Hell No's.

My straightness does not make me a Toby Keith fan.

Anyway. I suppose they have to segue with something. At least they didn't cut to showtunes. I think Liza that early in the morning would send me into anaphylactic shock.

Then I'd have to scan the dial for some Big & Rich.

And nobody wants that.

Some idiot kids left a shopping cart in our yard.

Papa's getting a brand new bike!

Just ordered it last night... a suh-weet Marin Novato Xtracycle.

My old bike is still functional, but it's just shy of fifteen years old, and the wear is really starting to show. It was time for a replacement, and I've been casting a covetous eye at the Xtracycles for a copule of years now. Since the new steed has cargo capacity, i'm hoping to replace a goodly chunk of my four-wheeled, petroleum-powered errand-running with some two-wheeled, me-powered adventures.

I was entirely bike-dependent and car-less in DC for a number of years, and i loved it. But it's really hard to carry stuff on a regular bike, so hopefully this will solve that problem and let me ditch the car (in LA! blasphemy!) a little more often here on the left coast.

If all goes well, I may even commute with it.

Could not have ended better. That's how championship games are supposed to look.

Rock mutherfucking chalk.

I wanna buy Mario Chalmers a fur house. I wanna buy him a mink Cadillac. I want him to shit in a golden toilet and brush his teeth with new Crest Diamonds.

I am very happy.

Everybody in my gchat pane has a Jayhawk-related message today.

:)

Go Barack. :)

I have a sincere case of the Fuckits.

Haven't posted since slightly before forever. So in the interest of remaining unpredictable... hi, there.

Lemme start right off by saying, Fuck The Writers' Strike. Fuck it all to hell. There is very little causing so much stress in my life as that.

I get the writers' demands. And I'm no fan of the AMPTP. I don't think the writers should abandon their most important points, but I'd sure be happier to speak of this debacle in past tense.

So, as Hollywood burns, I plan the fantasy of my next career. What's next for Three Blind Men? Whither shall the Scarecrow transpose his travails for mischief and high adventure?

Yosemite forest ranger? I love me some bears. And everything tastes better when it's been hanged from a tree.
Open a beach bar in Baja? Maybe figure out how to surf like someone who didn't grow up on the Great Plains. I think midwesterners are definitely at the bottom of the action sports food chain.
I could grow hops! Hops are like the easiest thing on earth to grow. Except maybe tomatoes. And I fucked those up.
Back to school? Get that anthropology doctorate? Fieldwork and liver disease for the whole family?
I used to know a guy who raised alligators. But I don't want to move to Florida. I still hold a grudge.

Better yet...

If I can find that phone number for BALCO...
If I can get good with a cudgel...
If I can overcome my aversion to backne and manboobs...

I could become an American Gladiator.

Those bastards have job security in spades.

Got a better idea? Dump 'em in the comments.

courtesy of the_flea_king:

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians.

Haiku2 for threeblindmen
carpentry fuck it turns out we need to frame a whole wall not just
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Created by Grahame

This is the pinnacle of human achievement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wffwg7pA0t8