Mon, Jan. 26th, 2009, 11:27 am
This is how to tell if you are awesome.
Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008, 12:40 pm
I really enjoyed voting yesterday. It was a beautiful day (shocker!), there was tremendous community spirit, and I got to take my one-year-old son to his third election.
Here's what I really dig, though... They gave me an "I voted!" sticker, and then gave one to him. It was really sweet.
But here's the deal... he's a toddler! Clearly he isn't eighteen. You know he didn't vote.
It's like an invitation to lie! "Here kid... misrepresent your participation in the electoral process." A tiny piece of paper asserting that he completed something he wasn't actually able to participate in.
So... what the hell. In for a penny, in for a pound.
On the way out, we also got him a jury duty waiver, a pilot's license, a concealed carry permit, and a certificate to practice medicine in the state of California. He'll thank me later.
(Seriously, though. It was sweet. The poll workers were wonderful, and he really liked the sticker.)
Thu, Oct. 2nd, 2008, 03:20 pm
I hate to belabor a point, but Vishnu with a Popsicle! Somebody envision a world for me where Sarah Palin isn't considered dumb as a post. Further, where she isn't considered dumber than the most of the dumber posts out there. Where the Creationists don't turn to the Flat Earthers and whisper, "Hey, Zebediah... This one's an idiot."
She's an absolute insult to every woman who is... you know... good at anything.
Moreso, anyone who's ever Verbed a Noun with any positive Adverb.
You liked Hillary? I got the plumbing! Vote for me!
Fri, Sep. 12th, 2008, 10:53 am
Tue, Sep. 2nd, 2008, 05:51 pm
Rewrites are an absolute motherfucker.
Tue, Jun. 17th, 2008, 04:19 pm
Starting at 5:01 last night, same sex marriages are being performed in the state of California. Hell yeah.
As you'd expect, the news media is all over it. I've heard somewhere in the neighborhood of a dozen stories about it over the past week.
Here's the deal, though... if these stories are radio or video pieces, they all segue to some fat House beat for their intros and outros.
It happened again just this morning, on the radio. It's always...
"...and I'm Jon Smith, Live at the LA County Courthouse. Back to you."
<insert Cher's "Believe" extended club remix here>
...or Groove is in the Heart. Or Kylie Minogue. Or The Prodigy, or Ray of Light, or a bad Weathergirls ripoff, or the latest "You Can Do It" One People One World Chaps McAssless club anthem. Oy.
If I were a gay cat, I don't think I'd be offended per se, but I might be a little annoyed by it. There seems to be an assumption that all gay folk like house music, and further, like shitty house music.
As a straight cat, if they ran some story about straight folks getting married in record numbers and they segued into some awful country music track, I'd get a pretty egregious case of the Aw Hell No's.
My straightness does not make me a Toby Keith fan.
Anyway. I suppose they have to segue with something. At least they didn't cut to showtunes. I think Liza that early in the morning would send me into anaphylactic shock.
Then I'd have to scan the dial for some Big & Rich.
And nobody wants that.